wheatear: (elijah/elena otp)
[personal profile] wheatear
I edit a lot. Even before I pass a story on to my beta readers, I edit, I rewrite, I cut. I'm a "less is more" kind of writer, so generally if I can cut it, I will do. And when writing a long story like Taken, inevitably there were times when I ran into plot problems, I didn't know what to do with characters, or I tried out various scenes that didn't quite work. Often I wrote snippets that I wanted to include later on, but the story shifted direction and they no longer fitted.

Hence: deleted scenes!

I cut and pasted these into a separate document as I was writing, because I hoped that I might be able to incorporate bits and pieces later on. Even if the scene doesn't work, there might be a couple of lines in there that I can recycle. And sometimes that happened; there are some gaps and lines lifted from these scenes that I added back into the main story. Sometimes it didn't.

What I was left with are a bunch of half-finished scenes and snippets. These are unedited, so they're not the best quality. Damon sounds suspiciously British in places. Some scenes consist of dialogue only because that's the first thing I write, and if I deleted it early on, I wouldn't have fleshed it out. But a few of them are quite complete.

Chapter 1-2
Elena says that she'll do anything if only Elijah will leave her loved ones alone. He feeds on her.

I wrote several different versions of Elijah's early interactions with Elena when he first kidnapped her. This is one of them. While this scene doesn't exist in the final story, I did use some of the dialogue. Elena says that she'll do anything Elijah wants very early on, but he doesn't take advantage of that. This scene would have led to a much darker story. I did consider writing non-con, and you can see the beginnings of that here, but I don't think I would have been able to handle that properly.

“What made you change your mind? Or did you intend to betray me all along?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t, Elijah. I changed my mind because when Damon tried to kill you, I knew you’d kill him for it. I had to.”

“I believe you know how I deal with those who betray me,” said Elijah, and she shivered, thinking of Trevor.

“I’m the only one who betrayed you. Not Stefan or Damon – they didn’t make any promises to you. So I’m the one you should punish. Me.”

He stared at her and she tried not to imagine what he was thinking.

“And how should I punish you?”

“Do whatever you want to me. Just leave my loved ones out of it.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Elena, once I can compel you, you realise your offer means nothing?”

“Once you compel me, it won't be me agreeing. Please, Elijah. I mean it. I'll do anything you want.”

He vamp sped right in front of her and she shivered as he raised a hand to ghost his fingertips across her cheek.


“Anything,” she whispered. “Do you promise?”

“Very well.” He brushed her hair back from her face, his eyes locked on her throat. “I promise.”

She saw his eyes darken and knew what he wanted. Elena shifted, tilting back her head so that her neck was exposed, and Elijah leaned down to her throat. She felt his lips brush against her skin, then he wrapped his arms around her waist and bit her. She stifled a cry of pain and stayed as still as possible, closing her eyes and wincing as he drank from her.

It felt like an age, but it was only a few seconds later that Elijah withdrew. He was still holding her close and when he looked at her his face was entirely normal again, not even a trace of blood on his mouth.

“You are beautiful,” he murmured.

Elena's heart sank, but she made herself meet his gaze.

Elena becomes vulnerable to compulsion.

And here's another. This was written in the planning stages, when I was still working out the structure and tone of the story. I had taken my inspiration from a previous Elijah/Elena story, A Game of Trust, which has a minimalist style and tends to gloss over events, only showing the key dialogue. This scene mimics that style, which I quickly found wouldn't work for this story. The first chapter that I submitted to my beta reader was written in much the same way, and I edited that chapter to add more substance. You can probably tell that this was originally in present tense.

On the third day, Elijah compelled her.

"You are not to harm yourself. You are to make no attempt to harm me. And you are not to leave this house until I say so."

She repeated his words in a daze. She can't hurt herself. She can't hurt him. She can't leave.

She slumped down on the couch and wondered if eating too much pizza counted as self-harm.

Chapter 13
Elijah puts down Katherine by comparing her to Elena.

Here's another very early bit of writing. I wrote this in the planning stages, when the story consisted only of a few notes and random bits of dialogue from scenes I wanted to include. The nearest I came to being able to incorporate this dialogue was Chapter 13, where Elijah talks to Katherine at a Lockwood party, but I never found a way to include it. In a way, I'm glad, because generally in fanfiction I can do without comparing one pairing unfavourably to another. Elijah explicitly compares Katherine negatively with Elena maybe three times in the whole story, and even that I worry is too often. But I did like Elijah's description of Elena here, so, you know. You win some, you lose some.

“I see you looking at her, Elijah. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

“Like a flower in the desert.”

Katherine smirked. “Of course, she’s only an inferior version of me.”

“There I’d have to disagree.”

“Oh, please.”

“The flower in the desert blooms for but a short time, but it is all the more lovely for it. Your beauty died five hundred years ago, Katerina. Along with your soul.”

Chapter 17
Damon goes after Isobel. She one-ups him.

In this chapter, it's Isobel who tells Jenna that Elena is hiding out in Alaric's apartment. Originally, I was going to have Damon go after Isobel the moment he found out that their hideout had been compromised. I had a lot of difficulty with this bit of the plot. I don't even know why, but I rewrote it so many times before I finally ditched it altogether. I couldn't decide on the setting, the outcome, or whether I should reveal that John was a vampire this early on. I could have sworn that I'd kept the fight sequence where Damon gets shot in the head by a crossbow, but apparently not. Pity. He eventually goes after her in Chapter 20, but it's not nearly as fun.

Isobel must have known that he’d go straight to Alaric’s apartment, because she was waiting for him outside, halfway down the street. There were people passing by, which was the only reason Damon didn’t slam her up against the wall and crack her skull. Instead, he folded his arms and gave her a look.

She glanced up at the apartment blocks. “She’s safe from me, you know. I’m not invited in.”

“I...” she said, and stopped. A slow smile spread over her face. “I’m creating a distraction.”

The first stake pierced through his stomach, and a second later, another one tore through his shoulder. He was bleeding, deep and raw, a familiar pain clouding his senses. Isobel moved in a flash and kneed him in the groin – bitch – so that he doubled over, groaning, then kicked him, the toe of her boot connecting with his stomach with enough force to send him tumbling back. He collapsed against a skip, a dull ringing in his ears, and pulled out the stake in his stomach with a groan.

Hazily, he saw Isobel step forward, accompanied by a man with a loaded crossbow. Recognition dawned in Damon’s eyes. John. Well, that figured. The guy had been trying to get him killed since the moment he walked into town.

The crossbow fired, and Damon had a split second’s knowledge of exactly where it was going to hit him: right between the eyes. That didn’t help him when it did.

He hadn’t passed out. Drinking vervain was working; it just wasn’t working quite well enough. Damon put a hand to the wall to steady himself, breathing hard. Then a different hand was at his back, and he heard his brother’s voice say his name.

“Are you okay?”

Damon turned to find both Stefan and Elena looking at him with concerned expressions; Elena hurried forward to help support him as Damon leaned on his brother’s shoulder.

“Damon, what happened?”

He grimaced. “You officially have the worst parents in town.”

Chapter 19
Klaus tells Liz about vampire jewellery, leading Liz to figure out that Damon is a vampire.

This was one of those scenes that happened as I wrote it - Klaus has infiltrated the council, he's stirring things up, so I had him drop very obvious hints about Damon's ring in front of Liz. I knew that I wanted to reveal the truth to Liz at some point, but I wasn't sure when. It happened in this scene, and then I got to the last line of the excerpt and... I had no idea what to do next. I didn't know what Klaus's motive was other than general chaos-causing, I didn't know how to have Liz react ICly in a way that wouldn't result in her death, and I couldn't figure out how to make the situation work with the plot. It was very difficult to stop Klaus just killing everybody. So yep, this scene got cut.

“The vampire wears an item of jewellery – a necklace, say, or a ring–” he glanced at Damon – “made from lapis lazuli. Of course, they have to wear it all the time in order to walk in the daylight. It’s a good way of IDing a vampire, actually: look for the bling, as they say.”

He grinned, cat-like, and Damon forced himself to smile back.

“Are you sure that’s true?” he asked. “I mean, magical jewellery? Doesn’t that sound just a little far-fetched?”

“We’re talking about vampires,” said Nick. “I think we’ve gone beyond far-fetched, don’t you?”

“Lapis lazuli,” Liz repeated. “That’s a blue stone, right?”

Nick nodded. “Right.”

She was looking at Damon, her eyes flicking to his hand, and Damon knew exactly what she was thinking.

“Liz,” he said quietly, “could I have a word with you in private?”

“All right,” said Liz, setting her jaw. “We’ll be five minutes.”

“Thank you,” said Damon seriously. He could sense the slight tremor in her body; she was following him with some trepidation, but she stayed with him as they exited the parlour and found a small drawing room a little way down the hall. He walked in and turned around to find Liz pointing her gun at him.

He held up his arms. “Liz.”

“I’m not going to shoot you,” she said. “I’m sorry, this is just a precaution. But he said lapis lazuli. And – that ring. You wear it all the time.”

He wriggled his ring finger. “Liz, that guy was talking a load of bull. It’s just a ring. Yes, I wear it all the time, but that’s because it’s a family heirloom.”

Her mouth twitched. “You mean it’s old.”

“Yes, it’s old.” He stepped forward, still trying to look as unthreatening as possible. “Can’t you see what’s happening here? He’s trying to set me up. He saw the ring, and he made up his little fairy-tale about lapis lazuli and vampires burning in the sun. I want to know who that guy is and why he swanned into our secret council without so much as a by-your-leave from me.”

She was hesitating. She wanted to believe him, he saw that. Unfortunately, there was an obvious solution to this entire dilemma, and Liz didn’t hesitate to suggest it. She nodded at him. “Okay, if he’s lying, then prove it. Stand in the sun and take the ring off. I’m sorry, I don’t want to doubt you, Damon... But I have to be sure.”

“Of course you do,” he said.

A second later, he’d knocked the gun out of Liz’s hand and he was standing a hair’s breadth behind her.

“Don’t make a sound,” he hissed. She’d jumped and gasped involuntarily, but she quickly fell silent when his hand gripped her arm, and she twisted to stare at him, terrified. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said at once. “Liz, please. We’re friends. Don’t make me hurt you.”

“You’re one of them,” she whispered.

“So is Caroline,” he reminded her lightly. “Last I recall, you haven’t staked her yet.”

She trembled, and he could sense it already; her face closing off. It would be easy for all this to become too much for her. He needed to quell her fear, so he stepped away slowly, raising his hands.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he repeated.

Klaus has captured Katherine, and he takes the moonstone off her.

This is a direct continuation of the scene where Katherine encounters Klaus in Liz's house. It carries on straight after the final line of that scene: Klaus saying, "Oh, I do love it when they run straight into my arms." It was in the original finished version of the chapter, but when I went back to edit, I realised that it was completely unnecessary. The one piece of information conveyed in this scene that I didn't actually show in the story was Klaus taking the moonstone from Katherine. But that was something that could be referred to rather than shown, and I didn't feel like it was worth all this extra messing around. Plus all I could think to do at the end was snap Katherine's neck. It wasn't a particularly strong ending. Klaus's earlier line was a much better place to stop. (And it's better to leave what he does to her after that to the imagination, right? I think so.)

Fear flooded into her. All her bargaining, all her negotiating, was forgotten in a moment as Katherine stared at the man who had been chasing her down for five hundred years. She bolted towards the front door, and was met by Klaus, who placed a firm hand on her shoulder.

Katherine swallowed. “Klaus. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“You weren’t going to run away from me, were you?” he asked. “Not when we were working so well together.”

She lifted her chin, trying not to tremble. “You caught me by surprise.”

“That was the intention.” He grinned and slung an arm around her shoulder, turning them both around to face Liz. Katherine found herself tucked into his body like she belonged there – like she had five hundred years ago, when she had been innocent and human and she had been charmed by this boyish lord, with his blue eyes and his dimples. Now she was trapped.

Liz had gotten up to stare at them both. She looked as scared as Katherine felt.

“You’re a vampire,” Liz said.

Katherine resisted the temptation to roll her eyes.

Klaus grinned. “Well, of course. The best vampire hunter is a vampire. It evens the playing field. Now, Katerina and I require some time to talk, so unless you want to die a bloody and violent death – I can be very creative – I suggest you go away and keep quiet. Read the newspaper. Make some tea. Katerina, please come and sit down.”

His courtesy was feigned; of course she had no choice in the matter. Klaus took her into the living room, but before she could sit down, he pulled her to him. She closed her eyes and tried not to shudder when his hands slipped inside her jacket, sliding down her body.

“Where is it...?” Klaus murmured.

She knew what he was looking for. It didn’t take him long to find it; his fingers closed around the moonstone and he smiled in satisfaction, though his hands lingered longer than they needed to, gently pinching her waist. She didn’t move. He was close enough that she could feel his breath on hers with every word that he spoke.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “You’ve given me everything I need to break the curse.”

He let her go, and Katherine heaved a sigh of relief. Liz was nowhere to be seen. Klaus wouldn’t let her run though, or call for help. The moment he heard anything like that, the sheriff would be dead.

And the same applies to me, she thought.

She sat down as far away from Klaus as possible, composing herself. “So what did you want to talk about? I’ve fulfilled my end of the bargain. What more do you want?”

He held out his hand. “Give me your necklace.”


“I won’t repeat myself. Hand it over.”

She did, slowly unclasping the necklace before dropping it into his hand. Without it, she couldn’t go out in the sun.

Klaus tucked the necklace into his jeans pocket. He was lying back draped over the couch, one foot resting casually on the coffee table. It didn’t look like he was in a position to react fast if she tried to run, but Katherine knew that made no difference.

“I want it back.”

She saw his eyes darken and braced herself for the inevitable pain that would follow. Sure enough, his hands closed around her throat. Katherine had never had her neck snapped before. Her last thought was that at least it was quick.

Stefan and Caroline eavesdrop on the Bonnie-Elena-Jonas-Luka negotiation in the Grill.

Here's another scene that I cut from this chapter. It would have followed directly after the Klaus/Katherine scene above. Elena and Bonnie are meeting Jonas and Luka to try and get them to help out. Caroline and Stefan are lurking in the background in case anything goes wrong. This scene was cute, but ultimately felt like unnecessary fluff, so yep, got rid. The woman referred to at the beginning is Andie, who is also lurking in the Grill on Damon's behalf.

“There you are,” said Caroline.

Stefan was lurking at a table by the fireplace, out of sight from Bonnie, Elena and the Martins – though not out of earshot, of course. He also seemed to be frowning at a woman at the bar. Caroline glanced back feeling slightly puzzled. The woman was doing nothing suspicious, just checking her phone.

“If she sees you staring like that, she’d be legitimately creeped out.”

He blinked, seeming to come out of a reverie. “Oh... Sorry. It’s nothing.”

She set down a drink in front of him: a whiskey shot, and sat down herself. “I brought alcohol. Don’t get mad at me, but I compelled the barman. I thought we’d need it tonight.”

She smiled and raised her glass at him until he reluctantly did the same, mouth curving upwards.

Caroline beamed. “Much better. Less stalkerish.”

“I’d like to listen to this conversation, Caroline.”

“Oh.” Yes, of course. He meant Bonnie and all the witch talk. She downed her shot in one and focused.

“...Even if it were possible, it’d take a lot more than just the three of us to succeed,” Jonas was saying.

“You must know other witches,” Bonnie said. “Isn’t it our duty to work together and stop him? What Klaus is trying to do goes against all the laws of nature...”

Caroline raised an eyebrow at Stefan. “Laws of nature? Where did she learn all that?”

“Witches are supposed to act as a balance in the supernatural world,” Stefan murmured. “Emily told me that.”

Chapter 22/23
Damon returns to the Salvatore boarding house to find Katherine on his bed.

I honestly can't remember where this scene was supposed to go. I probably wrote it earlier than Chapter 22 because I was trying to decide when to bring Katherine back into things, and I kept this snippet for future use. Whenever I got stuck for plot or I wasn't sure what to do with a character, I had Katherine appear. Worked wonders. In the end, I brought her back in a different context so she never got to turn up on Damon's bed, but I'm sure she was there in spirit.

Then, when he got back to the Salvatore boarding house, he found Katherine reclining on his bed.

“Hello, Damon.”

He groaned. “You. How did you...?”

“Someone’s been drinking.” Katherine wrinkled her nose. “And not the good stuff.”

“Get out.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you want to know how I escaped first?”

“Since I doubt whatever you’re about to say is going to be the truth, not really.”

“Suit yourself.” She shrugged, then a smirk graced her features as she stretched, cat-like.

Chapter 23
Damon attempts to compel Andie into forgetting him. It doesn't work, because she's on vervain, so he threatens her instead.

This is an alternative ending to the Damon/Andie break-up scene in Chapter 23. Caroline has given Andie vervain to stop Damon using her, as he discovers when he goes over to her apartment. I knew when I started writing this story that I wanted to actually deal with the Damon/Andie relationship and also specifically have one or more female characters put a stop to Damon's abuse. It ended up being Caroline who actually saves Andie, but Bonnie also threatened him.

What I wasn't sure about was where to take it from there. The situation could easily have turned nasty, with Damon killing her. This alternative version doesn't go quite that far, but it is much darker than the option I finally went with, which was to let Andie get away scot-free. I did that mainly because I just didn't have room to continue this subplot. Had I gone for the scene below, I would have had to follow it up - Andie seeking revenge somehow, or getting involved in the supernatural drama.

“No, you don’t.” He grabbed her by both arms and pulled her to him, staring into her eyes. “You don’t love me. Forget that I’m a vampire, forget everything that I did to you, forget all of it. All you remember is that you dated me for a while and then we mutually broke up. No hard feelings.”

She didn’t have the slightly blank look of someone who had just been compelled. She looked utterly confused, and a little frightened, her brows knitted together.

“How could I forget all that?”

“Because I tell you to,” Damon started to say, and then he groaned when she shook her head. “Andie, are you wearing vervain? Have you been drinking herbal tea?”

There were two, maybe three people he could blame for this. Bonnie and her interfering witchy self had probably done it. Or Caroline, if she dared. And if by some chance it wasn’t either of the girls, Andie could have accidentally ingested vervain attending one of Carol Lockwood’s social functions. There was way too much of the stuff in this town.

“No,” she said. “I don’t understand. Vervain’s a plant, isn’t it? I thought garlic was the thing that vampires were supposed to have trouble with.”

“No, it just gives us bad breath. Fine. Since you can’t be compelled, I’ll tell you straight.” He leaned in to smile at her, watching her pupils dilate in fear. “It’s over. Never bother me again. If you reveal my secret or do anything stupid like try to get revenge, I will hunt you down and kill you in your sleep. Okay?”

He could feel her body trembling uncontrollably. She was more afraid of him than she ever had been while he had compelled her. But she nodded silently, twitching to try and get away from him. Damon let her go and stepped back. Her mascara had run; her cheeks were blotchy and tear-streaked, and she stared at him with deep hurt in her eyes. Her heart was racing. He could hear that. It set off all his predatory instincts.

But she said nothing.

Part 2!


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August 2015

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